To enter into any relationship, you’d have to agree that the first step is to have the desire to be in a relationship. If your heart is not in the relationship, it’s not going to work because by their very nature, relationships are heart centered. To have a successful relationship, you’d want to be clear on what you want in that relationship, as well as who you are willing to be or become—after all, a relationship is a partnership. It’s a two-way street. In addition, you must believe you are worthy of the relationship you seek, and you must be willing to put in the time and attention to create and nurture it. For example, you can’t have a relationship with somebody for one day and expect them to be there for you all the time. You have to be willing to invest time and energy into creating a loving and trusting bond. To have a relationship with the Divine is no different.

The Divine is an intelligence, a consciousness, and an awareness, and since consciousness is awareness and awareness is paying attention—and paying attention is being present—it is always present with you. As you’ve probably heard me say by now, where you place your attention is where you place your energy, and wherever or whatever you place your attention and energy on expands. So if you put your attention and energy on a relationship with the Divine, then as your attention on it expands, there should be more of its intelligence available to you in your life.

The consciousness of the Divine exists beyond the material world we experience through the senses and therefore, it is an immaterial energy. Since it exists beyond our three-dimensional world of the senses, you can only experience it with your awareness. In other words, you can only become conscious of it. Most people don’t even believe that it’s real, but if you knew it was, you would be more willing to interact with it on a regular basis, would you not? Thus, it begs the question: How much time in your waking day do you put your attention on this invisible intelligence?

Think of the Divine as a great parent that is seeking a relationship with you. But a relationship must be two sided, which means you have to be willing to come to the altar in an elevated state. What does it mean to come to the altar in an elevated state?

When you think of an altar, whether it exists within the four walls of a structure or in the presence of the grandiosity of nature, coming to the altar in an elevated state means you are joyful, grateful, and excited to be in the presence of something greater than you. You are sincerely entering its house with an energy that matches its energy—an energy that is inspired, joyful, willful, conscious, mindful, loving, present, and enthusiastic. It also means you have a desire and a passion to connect with this intelligence, which happens to be a greater mind than your own. As an example, because everyone can relate to having expansive experiences in nature, when you are in the presence of a towering mountain range, the beauty of an ocean, or the infinite night sky, you stand in awe and forget about your fears, limitations, small mindedness, and judgements. You surrender to the beauty and power that shapes beaches, earth, and rock. It is this surrender to love, and this trust in the path of love, that allows growth in relationships.

Just as you say  I want wealth or health—yet walk around in lack, worry, fear, or the disbelief that the possibility of a healthy you exists—you can’t say I want a relationship with the divine and not invest your time and energy into it. Why would this intelligence help you with wealth or health unless you have constructed an idea regarding what kind of wealth and health you want? After all, it is the nature of this intelligence to endorse whoever we are being. If you’re feeling separate from it, impatient, frustrated, and angry, since it honors free will, it says ok, go for it and do it yourself, but I will be here when you are ready to seek me. When you can get out of your own way and stop trying to force outcomes, ask it for help and guidance, and surrender to it and trust its loving intelligence and intelligent love, like water flowing down a mountain, the benevolence of this great parent will find you through the path of least resistance—a path that you have created yourself.

Let’s take this one step further and make it really easy. If you had a great relationship with your mother, and you asked her to make you a sandwich at midnight, would she make it for you? If you were worthy, your mother would think—I love my kid, he/she is on task and doing the right thing, and we have a great relationship. I will make it. She would do this because she loves you, wants to feed you, nurture you, and please you. In other words, the Divine is willing to meet you if you make the effort to be in a healthy relationship with it.

Connection, patience, time, attention, intimacy, vulnerability, surrender, trust—these are all of course other examples of things that make up a relationship. There also has to be love, admiration, presence, a willingness to listen, and patience. There has to be honesty, truthfulness, and a willingness to grow together. Above all else, you have to want it and be passionate about it. Just as all these elements are required to have a relationship with another human being, so too are they required to have a relationship with the Divine.

Every relationship is personal, and your relationship with the divine is no different, so it’s up to you to think about and define all the things you want to invest to make the relationship great. So take some time to figure out what you want, what you’re willing to offer, and who you’re willing to become in this relationship—and don’t forget to keep the dialogue going.